The Audio Distortion Magazine Benefit Show

The Audio Distortion Benefit Show
Friday, October 1st at Verns
Statue of Demur, Off The Rails, B.F.I, and the Oh Shit Show!

On Friday October 1st, all the contributors, supporters, friends and fans of Audio Distortion Magazine, had come down to Verns for the ultimate ‘booze-soaked evening of music and charity.’ As bands came together to laugh, drink, puke and share their successes, I had to tell myself that the long road ahead would always be worth it for evenings like this one.
Our target goal for the evening had been to raise a total of $464.00 to cover the production costs of our last couple issues. The entire community has been a huge help since the very beginning in making every aspect of Audio Distortion possible. Thanks to them, we were able to raise a total $525.00 that night!
To open up the show, we had the remarkable Statue Of Demur starting us off. This band has come incredible distances since the last time I saw them play back in August with the Unwanted. They have solidified their sound and have found a stronger way to play off each other’s talents, making them one of the best new metal bands I have come across in a while! Aside from both myself and our CJSW sponsor, Mandy Kitt, going on stage to hang up the banner behind them while they played, they really seemed to capture the interest of everyone in the bar before they even opened with their first song.
Continuing on with the evening, Off The Rails had come up to play next. Their set had been absolutely phenomenal, and they shocked audiences once their lead singer, Chris Schwartz, announced that this was their first live performance as a band. Elbows flew and the energy from the entire bar had changed once this group of boisterous tormenters got up and started performing. By the end of their set, I heard multiple people walking away to catch a breath of fresh air saying that “Off The Rails, was their new favourite band,” and I was impressed enough to be able to say the same thing.
B.F.I had also been an excellent addition to the show and really added a lot of rough housing to the atmosphere. These disorderly punks turned up the volume and delivered on a set that left the crowd with bruised ribs, bloody noses, and wounds deep enough for stitching. I had heard great things about this band before I got the chance to see them play, but I never imagined that I could have so much fun while getting my ribs punched in on the floor!
To headline the evening, we proudly had the Oh Shit Show finish the night. This band had brought a lot of recognition to Audio Distortion throughout their set, and got the crowd slamming back their beers with anticipation. Every time the Oh Shit Show come together to play, they live up to their name and leave a lasting residue of punk rock and admiration in the mouths of everyone who sees them perform. I could not have been happier having their support at our benefit show, considering that they had pulled off another set just across the street only a couple hours previously.
The entire show turned out to be such a huge success because of every volunteer, band member and supporter that attended. Which leaves me to believe that there may be more benefit shows in the future!

Written By Hayley Instigator

An Evening Review With Jello Biafra

I arrived tired and broke after a shitty day of work, one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. Luckily my friend had a “+1” next to his name on the guest list, so I wouldn’t miss out on what turned out to be one of the best shows of the year.
After we got our beers and made small-talk with the few people we knew, the first band, Colin Decker Freefall played. I was surprised by this pick of an opening act. Nothing against the band, but considering Jello’s preference for weirder, less-mainstream music, it just seems odd that a band with a sound akin to mid-90s Bay-Area melodic punk would be opening for him. (And yes, apparently Jello did specifically approve the openers himself.) Not a bad band, but definitely not my first choice for an opener.
Next up was a band known as Fuel-Injected 45, who are from Vancouver. All I can say about them is WHAT THE FUCK?! Take generic bar-band rock-n-roll, tune down, turn up the distortion and then find a vocalist who sounds like she used to sing for that shitty nu-metal band KITTIE ten years ago. I don’t know why they were there, but they certainly weren’t anything original or special.
But all disappointment was quickly extinguished, when after a brief intermission, the lights dimmed. Four well-dressed fellows stepped onto the stage and began teasing us with some feedback, which slowly led into the intro to “The Terror of Tiny Town,” the first song off of Jello and the GSM’s LP. At the right moment, Jello himself leapt from the shadows and held us captive for the next hour or so. The dude is fifty-something years old, but despite the obvious signs of aging, (ie- balder and fatter than when I last saw him doing spoken word, like 8 years ago,) you wouldn’t know how old he is considering his stage presence. It was just like seeing that old DK video I own – Jello jumped, leapt, mimed and did all sorts of weird spastic shit, that few people half his age do anymore. The GSM set consisted of their album (obviously,) with some nice surprises thrown in there, too.
I’ve talked to people who saw the band on other stops on their tour, so I knew there was going to be some DK songs. However, I was pleasantly surprised to hear one of Jello’s songs from his one-off project THE NO WTO COMBO, and as for the DK songs, he did pull out the hits – ‘California Uber Alles,’ ‘Let’s Lynch The Landlord,’ and ‘Holiday in Cambodia.’ But much to my ridiculous joy, they pulled out one of the darker and more haunting tracks, ‘Bleed for Me.’ Fucking brilliant.
Anyone who’s heard of Jello Biafra knows that the man is smart as a whip and is political as hell. Between (and during) songs, he preached the gospel, his trademark political ranting being topical and tying the situation down in the States with Albertan and Canadian politics. Despite the fact that his rants can get too long and tedious during his spoken-word shows, it really tied into the music.
If you’ve never heard Jello’s new band before, all you have to do is think of the Dead Kennedys and bring them into the modern age. The fucked-up surf guitar sound that defined the DKs is there. The bass thunders along flawlessly and Jello’s voice hasn’t spoiled with age. Why would you go see the DKs with some child actor, (or reality TV star, or whoever they have on vocals these days…can’t keep track anymore,) when you can see Jello with a much tighter band truly enjoying themselves, playing some truly amazing music.

Written By Damien Inbred

Slim With A Saddle "What Is This Country?"

Greetings, from the dusty plains of Longview. Where we just finished the fall roundup, said goodbye for the winter, and unloaded a whole summer’s worth of angst with the rest of the ranch crew. Of course it goes without sayin’ we done a little drinkin’ too. We got to chin-waggin’ about country music as we always seem to do in these parts, and I took a lot of heat from the boys who were headed up to Calgary, to see the Keith Urban show. I told ‘em that kinda’ shit wasn’t country, and they set to tryin’ to tell me different, but I wasn’t havin’ none of it. I think I made some of ‘em a bit testy when I said it was cowpop, and not country music they were listenin’ to. Maybe ya’ll agree with me. Sit down on that bale of hay, let me bend your ear for a second, and tell ya’ just why I feel that way.
I don’t dislike Keith Urban, or Toby Keith, or Reba McIntyre, personally. I’ve never met them, so I can’t hate them just because of who they are. I dislike them because of what they represent. I just can’t stomach the kind of music that they produce. I’m all about the music, you know what I mean. It is what happens to you when that perfect storm hits you right between the eyes. A song so wicked, you can’t get through the day unless you hear it again. I’m as much of a sucker for a hook, and a sweet chorus as the next person. But the anger starts for me when the song is over-shadowed by the singer. When it’s all about how you look instead of how you sound. Owen Bradley fucked it all up in the 1960’s with his orchestrated sessions, which produced symphony-like songs with no soul.. Listen to Merle Haggard’s “Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down, Waylon Jennings “Ain’t Living Long Like This” or the Old 97’s “Salome”. The pain in the singers voice is real, not something conjured up from an acting class or a something a song factory drone popped out while trying to write the next monster FM Radio hit. The music itself, doesn’t come across as forced, or over-produced. It sounds like it is supposed to; edgy and powerful and sad, like good people in a relationship gone bad. It doesn’t sound contrived or fake.
The twang is real, not imagined by some song factory drone who grew up listening to Perry Como. It’s hard to describe, hell sometimes the lines get so blurry I can’t even tell the difference and get fooled. Not very often though kiddies…
Deep down in my heart, where the lonesome wail of a freight train reminds me of the girl I lost forever, I know the difference. Sometimes it’s subtle. Words can’t even do it justice, you just know this shit ain’t real. It’s like what Neil Young said so long ago, ‘You meet the losers in the best bars, and the winners in the dives.’ Many times it’s not even the singer, it’s the song. I’ve seen people perform in front of thousands of people, passing off their particular brand of crap as pure country, when it’s as far from pure country as maple syrup is from sea salt. Meanwhile, across town, on the other side of the tracks, a girl sings in a half-empty honky-tonk, beggin’ her man to put the bottle down and come home. She sings songs that she wrote herself; experiences, memories of a life she once knew . Tiny parts of a life that knows no real success other than dragging her ass out of bed to work a dead-end job, just so she can spend weekends in a smoky bar, endlessly repeating her sad refrain. That’s country.
You all should know that country music ain’t about beautiful people living the good life. Sometimes it’s about being so broke, you can’t even pay attention. Or enjoying Saturday night with friends; it ain’t about having everything spelled out for you, or handed to you on a silver platter. Do you know that Johnny Paycheck died broke and alone? Spent his last days handing out posters to his shows, recording the music in his basement, not in some multi-billion dollar Nashville studio? Did you know his wife had to raise money so he could be buried properly? Did Shania Twain or Brad Paisley ever have to pound the pavement in search of fans to sell their music to? I know a few people in this business. Before I hung my shingle at the ol’ Double Bar C Ranch, I worked the show circuit so I got to know more than a few.
singers and players. Most of them worked the road forever, always payin’ their dues, and what do they have to show for it? Maybe a couple of albums, a few die-hard fans, and some damn good memories? Where is the justice in this world, when someone like Carrie Underwood is groomed for success because of how popular she is to a TV audience, meanwhile life-long musician Billy Cowsill dies penniless and alone, a victim of his lifestyle? What about Fats Domino wandering the streets of New Orleans before he died because he never got the success he deserved or worked all his life to find?
I know there are other circumstances surrounding these stories. Plenty of which I don’t know. I also know that just because you have a steel guitar in the band, doesn’t make you a country singer. Maybe I’m full of shit, but I know what I feel and when I listen to mainstream country radio, I don’t feel it. Yet when I listen to the kind of country that’s real, I not only feel it, I get it too. I’m talking about music that sets your soul on fire, and rearranges you deep down inside. Whether Hank Williams Sr, Johnny Cash, or Lucinda Williams, are singing the song; that’s what is important comrades. The songs. Not how good the singer looks on TV.
When the sun sets, fellow babies, the only way is to do it yourself. Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise. Get your ass down to an honest-to-god honky tonk. Maybe you can afford to hit the road, and if you do, head South to Austin, Texas, and visit The Broken Spoke on a Saturday night, or the Continental Club in Houston. That’s where it’s at. Maybe the Tractor Tavern in Seattle suits your fancy, or the Horseshoe Tavern in Toronto. If ya’ can do it, do it. But if you’re like me, and don’t wander too far from home these days, there’s somethin’ for ya here in Southern Alberta. I like to sit a spell at the Palomino Club, right in the heart of the Cowtown itself. Those down-home tasty vittles, and lotsa’ good lookin’ folks dancing, and drinkin’ to the best music. I’m tellin’ ya. That’s where it’s at doggies. And the train’s right there too. How can ya’ beat that? Well now doggies.. I hear a beer callin’ my name. Or maybe three or four of ‘em. And I can hear that pedal steel, softly playing San Antonio Rose. I gotta’ saddle up Ol’ Paint, and hit the trail myself. Until next time ya’ll.

“Stay safe and sane”
Slim Nelson

The 2010 Calgary Beer Core Awards!

The 2010 Calgary Beer Core Awards
Saturday, September 18th
The Distillery Pub

On Saturday, September 18th, a vast group of music enthusiasts had lined up along a red carpet wearing their best suits to attend an Oscar themed evening at the Distillery, in celebration with the 2010 Calgary Beer Core Awards ceremony. As anticipation and alcohol circled the room, guests were quickly seated to a table while they waited for the wonderful ‘Big Ugly’ Jim Martin and Isaac Creasy, to open the events and awards that would soon follow. Every year, the atmosphere and hilarious satire that is presented at the CBC awards ceremony seems to strengthen, but I could never imagine two better comedians to host the evening.
For anyone who is not familiar with the Calgary Beer Core, or what exactly takes place at their annual awards show, I could only tell you that you have to actually attend the evening to truly appreciate what the Calgary Beer Core has done for the local music community.
Every year, the CBC will take great pride in acknowledging local musicians, venues and artists, by handing out awards such as “Best New Band,” “Best Live Performance,” “Best Sound Guy,” and even “Worst Band Name,” which was deservingly handed out to ‘Lesbian Fist Magnet.’ Prize packs were also given away to the winners ranging anywhere from $200.00 - $1000.00 that were supplied by and paid for by the sponsors.
Seeing the entire community come together to share the individual successes of so many artists over the last year is an extremely rewarding and entertaining experience, especially when every person involved has brought something completely different to the table.
In celebration to another year of hard work ,from not only the award winners, but the nominees, volunteers, bar staff, and supporters of the Calgary Beer Core since the very beginning. I would like to raise a glass of ice cold beer and cheers you all. Here’s to a few...

The 2010 CBC Award Winners:
Worst Band Name: Lesbian Fist Magnet
Best Rhythm Guitar: Elorps
Best Food: Dickens Pub
Best Babecore: Shelby
Best New Band: Machete
Best Bass: Philly Roch
Best Metal Band: Exit Strategy
Best Sound Guy: Greg
Best Drummer: Mikey Blotto
Best Lead Guitar: Dave Shmave
Best Song: Deadneck Fury “Never Walk Alone”
Best Bar Staff: Verns
Best Singer: Sean Raven
Best Bar: The Distillery
Best CD: Kataplexis – Insurrection
Best Band: Back Alley Boozers
Best Out Of Town Band: SNFU
Best Live Performance: The Tartan Hearts

Audio Distortion Local Exposure: Deimoz

Band Members:
Rob (Vocals & Guitar)
Jordan (Lead Vocals)
Darcy (Lead Guitar)
Toby (Bass)
Steve ( Drums)

Emerging from the depths of Calgary’s deepest underground comes Deimoz. A band who is finally ready to put their dynamic metal sound to the stage, after over a year of preparation. Although you may be curious to know exactly who these masked men are, you might just have to catch them in the act while they sweat their faces off before they reveal their identity to you. Playing their first set together at Verns, on November 6th, we decided to sit Deimoz down for a quick interview, so we could figure out what these on-stage monsters were hiding.

AD: Where did the name, Deimoz come from?
“(Deimoz,) is the God of war and destruction from Greek mythology.”

AD: What type of music would you say, has influenced you to play in a band together?
“We are kind of a new fusion between Lamb of God, with some punk influence. We are very high energy.”

AD: Why the masks?
“I enjoy it, because I can just let go. I mean, I have kids and stuff, but when we party, you won’t even know it. I’ll be this crazy, ugly, demon dude, who plays metal!”

AD: Do you plan on always remaining anonymous?
“We are doing a little bit of recording with the masks off right now, but only our true fans will know what our faces look like. We are definitely going to try and keep our masks on, but when we get really hardcore and sweaty they fall off of us.”

AD: In addition to the masks, do you guys do any other on stage theatrics, that make you unique?
“Well, we have all learned to showboat a little and we throw ourselves around pretty good. We also have a lot of lights and will be bringing our own light rack and fog machine. We don’t have any pyrotechnics yet, but we have the blood thing happening.”

AD: Considering that you guys just started out, are there any bands out there that you would like to start playing shows with?
“The closest band in the city that we have noticed (that plays similar music,) is probably Through Tragedy, so we would love to start playing more shows with them. Other than that, we are not really too picky with who we play with. We will play anywhere, anytime.”

AD: Do you guys have anything recorded yet, or have plans for a CD in the near future?
“Well, we have 12 songs we are working on right now, but we’re sticking to the whole indie theme, and trying to do it ourselves. We have all the right equipment, but we’re just trying to learn how to use it properly. It makes things much easier that way but we’re really hard on ourselves.”

AD: If you could describe your band using one word, what would you say?
“Metal!” “Brutal Solo’s!” “Intoxicating!”

Written By Hayley Instigator Sands

The Old Wives from Edmonton, Alberta

Back during the winter of 2008, a new band emerged out of the Edmonton music scene containing members from both The Get Down and Les Tabernacles. Calling themselves the Old Wives, they released a 7-inch during this time. Although their Bassist, Ted Wright, decided to bow out of the Old Wives and continue on with his other projects, they decided to re-define their sound toward a more pop-punk genre and leaned away from their current garage intonation. The Old Wives then regrouped with Bassist, Ryan Dix. Coming to play at the Distillery for Knucklehead’s CD Release party with the Vicious Cycles on Friday, November 5th, Audio Distortion decided to sit down with their current guitarist, Liam Harvey Olswald, to ask him a few questions.

AD: Tell me three things you could not play a show without (other than your instrument)
“A shot of whisky, a beer and a hat to cover my bald ass head.”

AD: Is there any meaning behind the name “The Old Wives?”
“Yes and no, I guess. I think a couple of us were just trying to name the band and a lot of the names we came up with were either too cheesy or too ‘rad’. So, Darren had all of a sudden came up with the name The Old Wives, and right away we were all laughing because throughout history we had always been called ‘the old wives of the band,’ probably because we’re too old or we bitch too much. However you want to put it. But at the same time nobody ever thought that Darren and I would play together again, so it was kind of an old wives’ tale.”

AD: Can you tell me about your most memorable show?
“Opening for Screeching Weasel, but only because I’ve been a fan since the early days of punk rock when Epitaph was coming out with this stuff during the 90s’. Screeching Weasel was kind of the band for me that blended a lot of the old school with the new school and it touched home because that’s how I was writing songs. I mean, not all of my songs are focused on a political agenda and not all of them are focused on girls; I just write what I write. I’ll also never forget that Ben Weasel wore our shirt on stage and we had about 200 people come up to us and say, ‘Holy Shit, Man! That guy loves your band!’ but I don’t even know if they saw us play. He just wanted a shirt.”

AD: If you could describe The Old Wives in only one sentence, how would you describe them?
“Old, bald, fat & fun!”

AD: What are your top 3 favourite albums of all time?
“Oh, that’s a tough one! I bet every single band you’ve ever asked that to either has no fucking clue or they know it right away. I’m going to say,
‘The Ramones,’ Ramones. ‘Steve Earle,’ The Mountain, and anything from Sun Records back in the early
days.”

AD: Do you think that any of this music has influenced the band you play in now?
“Well, the Ramones for sure. Sometimes it beats me down that I’ve never really become an accomplished guitar player and I just play the way that I play. But, I taught myself how to play and the Ramones really influenced me for life.”

“I’ve never really had the aspiration to be a great guitar player but I love to write songs, I love to sing and I love being in front of a crowd. For that reason alone I’m going to say the Ramones because less is more, you know?”

AD: Sex, Drugs, or Rock & Roll?
“Shit, that has to be somewhere right smack-dab in the middle. I love the sex, the drugs and the rock and roll, but throw a line in front of me and I’ll do it.”

AD: What does the future for the Old Wives look like?
“We’re just going to keep on keeping’ on I guess. I mean, we’ve had our best year ever that any of us has ever had. We went down to the States to record the record that we released in May with Mass Giorgini, who has recorded really anything that you can think of.”
“We’ve played some amazing shows and received some amazing feedback opening for shows like Warped Tour, Pennywise, the Misfits and Screeching Weasel. Yet, it’s been really hard because we’re not ‘cool enough’ to be in the underground pop-punk scene and not ‘mainstream enough’ to be in mainstream pop-punk. We all love Canada first and foremost, but we are really hoping to get down to the places that actually appreciate what we do like Europe, Italy or Japan.”

Written By Hayley Instigator Sands

Black Earth "Fingers Crossed"

“Do ya’ fancy a bit of rock and roll?”
So, I had the chance to listen to the demo CD by Calgary’s own Black Earth, entitled Fingers Crossed. Check them out if they are playing in your neighbourhood because these cats (and kitten) really know how to rock!
Hard driving bad ass bass guitar fave, Glen Murdock, stands alongside the jackboot drumming of our old friend, Davey Wasted. Serving to lay down a wicked backbeat for axeman Anthony Janicki’s stellar guitar-slinging, the future rock and roll queen, Erica (on vocals) evokes images of a younger, yet angrier Chrissie Hynde. I would NOT make the mistake of comparing this band to The Pretenders, however it’s easy to see that they wear their rock and roll influences proudly on their sleeves. This CD starts out with Fingers Crossed; a hard-rocking tale of angst, book-ended by the loud and proud Dr Frankenstein which will haunt listeners long after the song ends. The simple yet brilliant, Pavement, follows with its addictive melody; a song showcasing Erica’s strong vocals backed with gusto by the hyper-taut rhythm section.

Ammo is next up; a break-neck number that hits you right between the eyes and never stops. Nasty guitar licks screaming over a thundering drum and bass line that shatters your mind and leaves you wanting more! The disc ends with the catchy refrain of Runaway Night, which if there were a music God, would be the hit single for this band.Although this was essentially a set of demo songs, the quality was fairly decent on this disc which makes me wonder how good Black Earth’s first disc (due out in the spring, according to their Myspace page), will sound!
Written by Slim Nelson